


Impurity

by Of_Strawberries_and_Demons



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Chile so anyways this is gonna be a sad/angst fic, Crying, Depression, Despite how silly the tags are please take the warnings seriously, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Especially if you're going through things!!, Family Drama, His brothers treat him horribly in canon, I WILL curbstomp lucifer if given the chance, I would never, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Lucifer isn't bad he just sucks at basic feelings, M/M, Mammon deserves better, Mammon does undereat though, Minor Original Character(s), NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, Not an actual eating disorder, Poor Mammon :(, Possessive sugar demons, Suicidal Thoughts, They never got to grieve for Lilith healthily, This totally isn't me projecting onto Mammon, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and you'll get a shoutout lol, i will also simp for lucifer if given the chance, if you read all of these tags send two hearts and a smiley face, so they treat him better here....somewhat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Strawberries_and_Demons/pseuds/Of_Strawberries_and_Demons
Summary: "Where do you think you're going?" Mammon didn't bother answering, let alone acknowledging that he heard his brother speak at all. With a puff of cigarette smoke that burned too deeply into his lungs, Mammon continued making his way towards the doors, pretending he isn't digging his nails deep into his palms in fear of his brother. "Answer me Mammon."'Away from you. Anywhere else but here. I need to get out. Now. I need to leave because you're all suffocating me and I know you couldn't be bothered with my presence so why bother pretending.' Mammon thinks. Desperately wishing he had the courage say the truth. All too aware that he'd never admit this aloud."Out." Is all that he can manage to say in response. Grateful that his honey-golden glasses wouldn't show his teary eyes to his brothers, who all watch this anti-climactic showdown silently. Right now Mammon couldn't care less about what Lucifer had to threaten him with, since he's not coming home tonight anyways.* * * * *Or that Mammon centric fic where he struggles with mental health and family issues that nobody asked for.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 116





	Impurity

It was risky trying to go out tonight. For one they had school early that following morning, and to top it off Mammon has to sit through another student council meeting about God knows what before he could have his own personal time.

Mammon wouldn't have even bothered trying with such high chances of Lucifer finding out beforehand. Except that his latest sugar daddy has him on a tight leash and he'd rather not be punished for being late to _The Fall_ , one of the Devildom's modern and high-status nightclubs. The last time Mammon was punished for not showing up when called he couldn't even walk straight for the following week and had to miss out on school much to Lucifer's displeasure. _'An_ _accident,_ ' Mammon had told his brothers. It certainly was an accident he wasn't willing to make again. As the Avatar of Greed, knowing that money and wealth is so close had been almost torture by simply sitting and waiting for his brothers to turn in. 

It was normal for his brothers to stay within their own rooms around this time most evenings. They all had their own independent hobbies as of late and most days it was almost lonely living in a house full of people and still sitting alone in empty rooms. Which made tonight a rare night where his brothers had chosen to hang out from the confines of their bedrooms and make refuge within the first floors foyer. 

The youngest of them, his twin brothers Beel and Belph were contently cuddled up on the couch together while Belph had rested against Beel's shoulder in a common nap. Beel didn't mind being used as a brother, as he found comfort in snacking on a bag of chips while scrolling through weight-lifting vlogs on Devilgram. Asmodeus ended up cooing over the twins and took not so stealthy pics of them. 

Satan and Leviathan had taken to trying to best each other at chess, which Satan was undoubtedly winning from pure strategy. Levi on the other hand began to turn red and pouted at Satan's winning streak rising one by one. All in all it was a pleasant and quiet evening for the youngest five brothers. As they were all comfortable being in each other's presence... except for Mammon's however.

Maybe it was because of the lit cigarette pinched between his painted fingertips, or it could've been because of the clicking of his expensive, rich black heel boots tapping across the floor in a rapidly growing manner. Though if Mammon were to be completely honest with himself right now, he's sure it's because of his Greed. That's what sets him apart from his brothers. He was the Avatar of Greed, and he couldn't control himself when it came to _everything_. Especially _money_. They should've understood that his Greed controlled him. That he was only a puppet to the need of gaining materials and wealth.

~~_They didn't._ ~~

Somehow...

Mammon grew used to his brothers seeing him as an outsider for a number of reasons.

He remembered their early days in the Devildom when their bonds were still strong - when they still leaned heavily on him just as they do with Lucifer now. Only they stopped because none of them knew how to cope with losing Lilith, their home, and their father's love and trust. The feelings of betrayal and festering negativity needed to be released somehow and not even Lucifer's patience and cool-headedness were spared from such dark, growing emotions. (It _was_ how Satan came to be anyways.)

They needed somebody to pour their hate and negativity into because they never learned how to deal with themselves or their emotions properly. Mammon was willing to sacrifice himself for his brothers in order to alleviate their bottled up grief. ~~Sometimes~~ he wished it wasn't like this, like tonight he wished they would understand that he had to go. He had to acquire something and if it didn't the ugly self-hatred would bubble up again. Where the need to have something new, something shiny or pretty had became too strong for him to handle.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt when the atmosphere of the peace in the room had suddenly tensed and tightened like the coils of a compressed spring ready to snap, as he walked through the center of them all Mammon couldn't help but let out almost silent and shaky breaths for air. As if somebody had pulled a noose over him and squeezed the rope until it felt all the air within him was quickly disappearing.

Which it why Mammon cursed his luck when Lucifer, who he was _certain_ had been in his private study all evening, had caught him just feet away from the front entrance. Of course Lucifer would come now of all times.

Unfortunately for the ebony haired demon, Mammon had been itching to leave now before he snaps. If he does... who knows what would happen. In their thousands of years Mammon has not slipped up like his brothers have. Despite what they think - he's kept himself on a short leash so he could never lose himself in his sin. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Mammon didn't bother answering, let alone acknowledging that he heard his brother speak at all. With a puff of cigarette smoke that burned too deeply into his lungs, Mammon continued making his way towards the doors, pretending he isn't digging his nails deep into his palms in fear of his brother. "Answer me Mammon."

_'Away from you. Anywhere else but here. I need to get out. Now. I need to leave because you're all suffocating me and I know you couldn't be bothered with my presence so why bother ~~pretending~~.'_ Mammon thinks. Desperately wishing he had the courage say the truth. All too aware that he'd never admit this aloud. 

Scared to admit that he feels like an unwanted burden to his brothers now. That his brothers surely hate him - how could he not with all of the harsh taunts and vile words they spill onto him day by day. What seemed like a noble self sacrifice for his brothers now seems to have turned into a sinister game where they only see him as they broken toy they can break and twist again and again.

"Out." Is all that he can manage to say in response. Grateful that his honey-golden glasses wouldn't show his teary eyes to his brothers, who all watch this anti-climactic showdown silently. Right now Mammon couldn't care less about what Lucifer had to threaten him with, since he's not coming home tonight anyways. Balaam, the latest wealthy demon to have their claws in Mammon's heart, wouldn't allow Mammon to return until the highest stars set in the Devildom's infinite night sky.

At least he can forget about everything for a couple of hours with Balaam - even if it meant pissing off the Avatar of Pride a little.

* * *

Hello!! As you can see this do be a work in progress, though it's also a vent fic for myself. Though I'd be delighted for some feedback on this chapter!! Do take heed of the trigger warnings, as there will be mentions of past sexual assaults/ encounters. It's going to be a heavy story for a while, though like life it will get better and mostly less painful by the chapter. But it is what it is.

I'd be happy to write some requests in between the main plot chapters, just leave a comment and a kudos!! Hmmm if you need your own vent chapter you're free to request it - as writing can be both therapeutic to me and writing from different viewpoints/struggles is interesting!! No promises it won't be slightly off or completely detailed. 

Anyways I would love to hear your thoughts, comments, or concerns!!! Stay safe and until next time!!


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